Penny
by analog-warrior
Summary: Penny is the female warm water penguin that comes into Pen Pen's life. Chapter 6 done.
1. Chapter 1

Pen Pen was dozing inside his freezer like he always does. He was dreaming. He saw familiar images, like his 'mama' Misato. Or the other humans in his life like the boy. Or the girl with the long red hair. He called that one 'Red'. When he saw her he began to shake. She scared him in this dream.

"I'M GONNA' GET YOU!" she boomed from hundreds of feet high.

Red was chasing him. She was much bigger now than he remembered her. He was the size of an ant compared to her. Pen Pen was trying his best to waddle away but the floor was like mud. When he looked back the towering form of the fire haired girl was still stomping towards him with an insane grin on her face and a killer glint in her eyes. Pen made his way towards his freezer but he was too small to reach the botton that would open the door. He hopped as high as he could given the gravity was ten times it's normal strength. But he still couldn't reach.

He turned around and put his back to the freezer door and cried out, "SWAAAAK! SWAAAAK!" Usually when he cried so loud his mama came to the rescue.

She couldn't be his real mother but she was there at the beginning of his memories and was the closest thing he _had_ to a mother. It was because of her that the colour purple soothed him so. It was his favorite.

But now all he saw was red. A giant red girl with burning red hair raising a giant red foot to bring down on him.

Pen closed his eyes and awaited his fate with the sound of Red's evil laugh. And when darkness came, there was nothing but cold.

* * *

Pen Pen jolted awake with a fright. He was in his recliner but was upside down and sweating. Though he was in a freezer the nightmare was enough to make him sweat from terror. That nightmare always got to him.

Now he was greeted by his 'house'. He saw his lamp, he could feel his soft recliner below him, and the door that led outto the rest of his home. Then Pen Pen noticed everything was upside-down.

Pen righted himself and shook his head. The blood had rushed to his brain from being upside down too long. He saw spots and heard noises. He was alsoincredibly dizzy. He shook his head untilthe spots and dizzyness went away but the noises persisted. A loud _Tap, tap, tap!_He shook his head harder but they wouldn't go away. Then Pen Pen noticed that it was someone knocking on his small door. After the nocking stopped he heard a voice.

"Pen Pen?" It was his mama. He felt full of joy and love. Suddenly the effects of the nightmare were gone and he wanted to see his mama. He opened the door and jumped out, wrapping himself around her ankle.

"Whoa!" she said, rubbing his head. "Someone's happy to see me!"

Pen looked up at her and gave his cutest, "Skwaaa." Then he closed his eyes and held her tighter.

"Okay, Pen Pen! I can't feel my toes anymore," she said playfully. When he let go she came down to his eye level.

Then she said, "I have something for you. Or rather...someone I'd like you to meet." About now was when he noticed that everybody was there in the kitchen, watching. Who else could there be? He'd met his mama's nice friend with the prickly face. The boy, the girl with the blue hair,and...Red. Then mama's other friend with the dot next to her eye. How many people did he have to know? Better yet, why did he need to know anybody at all?

Now was the time he began to back up to his freezer. But before he could open the door again and make it to the safety of his freezer, his mama, still at his eye level, put an arm around him and said, "Don't be shy." Pen Pen gulped. He quickly looked around.

Mama wasn't holding one of those itchy little sweaters that she used tomake him wear. And she didn't have a leash in her hand; that phase in her lifehad passed. No collars with bells on them. No treats to get him to sit androll over with. No little laser pointer to make him chase after. (Pen Pen never understood why his mama always seemed to think he wasa dog) This could either be better than those things, or...worse. What could be _worse _than an itchy little sweater?

Pen Pen began to kick and flail, bite and "SKWAAAK!" as hard as he could in his mama's arms. Then she said something to the lady with the dot next to her eye. When the lady moved aside, Pen noticed another set of eyes and stopped squirming. This set of eyes was closer to the ground. And they were also the most intense blue. The eyes made him kind of uncomfortable. It was a little because the blue eyes belonged to another penguin and he didn't want to look stupid in front of another member of his own kind. But it was mostly because the eyes...they belonged to a girl.

Misato tried to give Pen Pen a nudge towards the other penguin but he seemed to have gone as stiff as a statue. Who could blame him? He did just what any human boy would do the first time he saw a pretty girl; he froze up. So she tipped him back until all that was keeping him from falling over was her arms. Then she scooted him fowards and tipped him back to his feet. He was now almost beek to beek with the other penguin who seemed to be taking this pretty well.

"Pen Pen," said his mama. "Meet Penny."

* * *

I'm not too good with after notes so...R&R. It's a little short but there will be more to come. If you like it or have suggestions, say it. If you don't...I'll eat your soul. 


	2. Chapter 2

"This is it?" Asuka wined. "You got me allexcited for _this?_ A _penguin?"_

"Not _just_ a penguin," Misato said. She still had her eyes on the two warm water penguins. So far the only thing they did was stand there on the kitchen floor and breath. Penny blinked once and Pen Pen seemed to have stopped blinking all together. Misato had beenhoping for a better reaction than this; maybe a 'S_kwaak-how ya doin?' And a 'Skwaak-fine'_. Only if she was lucky. She got back to her feet and said, "_Two warm water_ penguins."

Now, almost everyone had left. Kaji and Asuka said they had a date, after the red head hadexpressed her opinion on this being a waste of time. And Rei "concured" with Asuka. Shinji had gone to his respective room, Ritsuko had made up some coffee, Misato now had a can of beer in her hand, and two penguins seemed to be in a staring contest.

"I know," said Misato suddenly. "Lets let them relax. Ritsuko led Penny into the living room. Then, Misato picked up Pen Pen (Still stiff as a board) and joined her, putting him on the couch.

Ritsuko patted the spot on the couch next to a dead-to-the-world Pen Pen and said, "Come on, Penny." The female Penguin looked over at Pen Pen, and then back at Ritsuko with a look of confusion on her face.

"It's okay," Ritsuko said in a sweet voice Misato had never heard before. "He won't bite. He won't-" Ritsuko paused and snapped her fingers in front of Pen Pen's face a few times but got no response -"anything. Come on, hop hop!" To this, Penny raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms...Wings.

Misato said to the blonde, "Is she as smart as Pen Pen, do you think? If she is, you don't have to treat her like a dog. I can talk to Pen Pen normaly and _he_ understands."

"Oh." Ritsuko blushed a little. "Well she is pretty smart." She turned to Penny and said, "Sorry." Penny sighed.

"Let me try," Misato said, putting down her beer. She stood next to the couch and said to penny, "Have a seat. This is your house too now, you know."

Penny then looked up at the purple haired woman, then back at the couch. Then at Ritsuko again.

Ritsuko scratched her head, then said, "Oh!" She wrap her arms gently around Penny who went without resisting. Then when she was placed on the couch and released, Ritsuko said to Misato, "I forgot. She always has trouble getting on the couch." Her blush deepened. Penny then took a seat next to Pen Pen.

The two women still just stood there, watching. Penny looked up at them and...did nothing. "Oh, I see," Misato said aloud. "They need some privacy. We'll just leave you two lovebirds alone. "Misato turned the T.V. on to National Geographic. Then she took Ritsuko's arm and led her out of the room to the kitchen table. When they had a seat, she said, "So tell me about Penny."

* * *

"Hey." 

He doesn't respond. Or just doesn't hear.

"Hello."

Still, he doesn't respond.

"Hey!"

She snaps her fingers in front of his face but gets no responce. "C'mon. I need someone to talk to. Helloooooo."

He blinks and says, "Wha...?"

"Finally. Are you okay..." She looks closely at his tag and reads, "_Pen_? Oh, there's a little 2 next to it. Are you okay, _Pen Pen_?"

"Wha...?"

"You look kinda' sick."

"Wha...?"

"Is that all you can say?" Before he could say anything, she continued. "I hope not. I need someone sane to talk to."

"Wha...?"

"I hope you'remore talkitivewhen you're not...in whatever condition you're in right now."

"Wha...?"

"Well, anyway, my name's Penny."

"Wha...?"

"I said, my name's _Penny_!"

"Wha...?"

When Pen Pen says this the again, she says to him, "If you say that one more time..."

Pen Pen sits and stares blankly at the T.V.

"Alrigh-"

"Wha?-Ouch!"

"Serves you right," said Penny.

Pen Pen put his right wing to his cheek and said, "Why'd you do that?"

"Because you were freaking me out."

"You didn't have to pinch me so hard!" Pen Pen wined, rubbing his sore cheek.

"Yes, I did. You were comatose."

"No I wasn't! I was just..." He didn't finish.

She finished for him, "...Just swooning?"

"Where did you come from anyway?" Pen Pen said, still rubbing his cheek.

"Mama's house," she said.

"But this _is_ mama's house."

Penny looked around. "No," she said. "This is _your_ mama's house."

"Okay," Pen Pen said. "So where's _your_ mama's house at?"

Penny opened her mouth to respond, but found that she couldn't answer that. "I don't know..." she said.

"What do you mean? How can you not know?"

"Well my mama put me in a box and brought me here. I don't know where home is. I don't even know why I'm here."

"Aren't they so cute?"

Penny turned and noticed Misato and Ritsuko peeking at them from the kitchen doorway.

"I think they see us," one of them whispered. "Quick! Back to the kitchen. We don't wanna' make them nervous." Then they shrank back around the corner until they were out of sight.

Penny said to Pen Pen, "Can you believe it?"

Pen Pen caught himself before saying 'What?' remembering the pinch and said, "Believe...?"

"They just throw us at eachother and expect us to just start goin' at it."

"Going at what?" Pen Pen said.

"You know..._It_."

Pen Pen raised an eyebrow. "What?...Food?"

Penny let out an exasperated sigh and said, "Are you completely dim?"

"Not completely," Pen Pen said with a little pride.

"It means..." Penny leaned close to the other penguin's ear and whispered something. When she leaned back andlooked at him expectantly.

"Oh," Pen Pen said. "...Oh!" Even though he was a penguin and was covered in a layer offine blackfeathers, Pen Pen still blushed bright red. "Gross," he said

"Yeah," Penny said. "You're totally not worth it." Then she stuck out her tongue.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, offended.

"Look at you," she said, splaying her arms out toward him. "You're a looser."

"No I am not!" he said.

"Yeah you are. You sit in that freezer all day don't you? I'll bet that lady with the purple hair walks you on a leash, doesn't she?"

That brought back memories so unpleasant that Pen Pen shivered. "No," he said quietly.

"And who's _this_?" Penny asked as Shinji came out of his room. He stopped and stared at them for a moment. "What's he looking at?" she quietlyasked Pen Pen.

"He's looking at you and I can't blame him."

Before Penny could come up with a retort, the boy came closer and said, "Well hellow there, Penny." Then he turned to Pen Pen and said, "Did you make a new friend?"

"He's talking like we're children," Penny said. She was watching the boy closely for any quick moments.

"Don't worry, he's harmless," Pen Pen said. "He's a good boy- Aren't ya, boy?"

"Oh, no. Please say he's not gonna'..." But he did. Shinji reached out and rubbed Penny's head softly. This brought an unexpected responce from her. First she went stone-faced, like she was trying tohold something back. Then she groaned deep in he throught and slid down with her eyes droopy until she was lying almost on her back.

Shinji said, "You like that, huh?" Penny's leg began to kick. Shinji would of kept on if it hadn't been for misato's voice.

"Shinji, are you gonna' make lunch?" she called from the kitchen. "I'm starving."

Shinji obediantly went to his post at the kitchen stove. When the two penguin's were alone, Pen Pen looked at Penny and said, "What was that?"

She quickly got back up until she was back in a sitting position. Then she said, "W-what was what?"

"That," he said. "You just freaked out when he did this." Pen Pen reached and scratched the bottom of Penny's chin. She immedietly went droopy eyed, then snapped out of it and slapped Pen Pen's hand away.

"Don't touch me, loser!" she screamed.

Pen Pen noticed a little color below her eyes and said, "Now I know your weak spot."

Penny ignored him and said, "Was that one of you're looser friends?"

"No," he answered. "He's my...pet."

Penny just looked at the other penguin. Then she said, "Liar."

"No really. Whatever I say he does." He could see she was unconvinced so he said, "C'mon."

The two of them hopped down from the sofa and padded intothe kitchen where Misato and Ritsuko were still discussing Penny's habbits and needs, and Shinji was helping himself to a large bowl of Ramen noodles. "Watch and learn," Pen Pen said.

He went over to Shinji's seat and kicked his leg. Shinji didn't seem to notice so he said, "Hey! Boy!" He turned to Penny and said, "That's his name, _'Boy'_."

"That lady called him _'Shinji'_," Penny said, pointing at Misato.

"That's her name for him, yes." He turned back to Shinji and said, "You'd better look at me, you little runt!"

Of course Shinji couldn't hear him. Animals talk in different ways than humans do; With body language, a small noise here and there, and through their eyes, animals don't need speech.

"Hey!" Pen Pen called again with another kick. This time, Shinji noticed the frantic penguinand looked down at him.

All he heard was a "Skwaak!" He said to Pen Pen, "What's up?"

"Gimme some noodles!" He said, pointing at Shinji's cup. Then he turned to Penny and said, "Humans. You can't live with them and you can't live without them. You know?"

Penny said, "He can't understand you. Humans are stupid. They don't speak like us." Then she just crossed her arms and looked on at the penguin that was trying to empress her..

Shinji looked from Pen Pen to his noodles, then back again and made the connection. "Oh, you want some food?" Then, using chopsticks, took a single noodle and lowered it into the penguin's open mouth. He almost choked on the long strand of ramen, to his embarrassment. But after a few gagas, he got it down.

"Mmmm," Pen Pen said, after he finished choking. "Shrimp." He looked at Penny and saw that she wasn't impressed.

"Wow," Penny said in mock amazement. "That was, like..._Amazing_." She said 'amazing' in an exasperated sigh.

"Yep," Pen Pen answered,stretching. "I got them traaaaained!" He could tell, still, that she wasn't empressed by his actions. _What's wrong with me?_ he thought. _Why am I trying_ _to empress her?_

"Watch this," Penny said. "And learn." She put one arm out and snapped her fingers. Immediately, Ritsuko got up and kneeled next her penguin. Then she started looking for what was bothering her. Penny gave her a moment, then waved her hand in a dissmissive way. Ritsuko shrugged and returned to her seat after seeing that Penny had no need for her service. Through the_whole_ordeal Penny never broke eye contact with Pen Pen, who now stood with his mouth wide open.

_Wow_, he thought.

"_That _is what you call trained," she said. "What are you doing?"

Pen Pen was trying to snap his fingers but found that it was harder than it seemed. "How do you do that?" he asked.

* * *

"A lot of work for a penguin," Misato said to Ritsuko after she had tended to her penguin's snap. 

"It comes with the job. Penny has a lot of needs, you should know...You're sure she's not too much for you? I mean, _two_ penguin's in _one_ house?"

"It's fine!" Misato said, cheerfuly. She reached down and roughly rubbed Pen Pen's head. Then she said to Ritsuko, "Pen Pen here is never a problem. Isn't dat wight Pen-Poo?"

To this, Penny actually seemed to sneer. The look on her face said, _'Pen-Poo?'_

"Just go," Misato said. "She'll be fine here. It's better than her living with a pack of cats, right?"

Ritsuko let out a sigh. "I guess you're right," she said. Then she lifted herself from her chair and nelt down in front of Penny. "Don't worry," she said. "Mama'll visit you all the time. I promise." Then she hugged her.

Ritsuko stood and headed for the door, Misato in stepbehind her. She stopped at the door and said, "Remember." She took on her serious Third-Impact face and said, "When she needs something, she'll snap her fingers. Never ignore her when she snaps her fingers."

Misato shivered. She hated it when her friend took on that tone of voice. "I got you," she said. "It'll be okay. You know how good I am with penguins. Just look at Pen Pen," she waved a hand towardsher own healthy male warm water penguin. "Now, go. Don't you worry about a thing. She'll be here whenever you want to see her."

Ritsuko opened her mouth to argue, but held herself. She knew her friend was right. She nodded, and with no further words,a hug, and a good bye, left the life of her warm water penguin in the hands of the very same person she herself would leave her own life in.

* * *

"Oh, no!" Penny cried. "Where is she going?" Penny was still staring at the door through which her momy just left her. She felt a great weight of shock. Her body felt heavy and her breathing became labored. Somehow, she summoned the strength to stager toward the door and pound feably. "Moma! Come back!" she wailed. 

Pen Pen joined Penny at her side and in an attempt to comfort her, said, "It's alright. She said she'd visit you some time. Umm." He was having trouble going on, as he had naver tried to comfort anotherpenguin before, let alone a female. "It'll be okay. You don't need her to live. We'll have loads of fun, just the two of us.A great time!"

Penny turned to him with tears in her eyes. And something else. Was it hope? "Just the two of us?" she said, her voice thick.

Pen Pen smiled. "Yeah, just me and you. It'll be-" It wasn't hope.

Penny began pounding the door again, screeming loud enough to attract Misato's attention. The woman came over and attempted to calm the frantic penguin, but it was no use. "Nooo!" she screamed. "Mama! Please don't leave me here with _him_!"

* * *

And that's how the second chapter goes. There may be a few errors. And it may be a littledetail-less. But it's done.R&R 


	3. Chapter 3

Time for chapter 3 of the best (And only) fanfic from a penguin's point of view. I've only done 2 chapters so far and I've tried to make them long (Without much success). So now I'll just try to keep them short, but greater in number. Here we go:

* * *

"Uugh..." 

When Penny woke up she didn't know where she was. She was in a bed, but she instinctively new she was in a small space. It was dark. And quiet. The only sound was a hum that seemed to be coming from everywhere. It felt cold. But not uncomfortable. It wasn't as hot as room temperature. It was as if she was in a place that was justperfect for her.

There was also a not unpleasant smell. The scentseemed to becoming from the bed. It smelled sweet and made her hungry. Relaxed her. It reminded her of the sugar cookies that her mama used to make back home...

Home...Now she remembered. The memories of the past few ours (Or was it longer?) came back to her. This wasn't home. Her mama had abandoned her. She'd been left here, in a strange place with stranger people. And another penguin.

Penny supposed it wasn't all bad. She'd never met another like herself before. He was kind of cute too. Then Penny felt a pang of guilt. She had been mean to him. And for what? Nothing. He had done nothing wrong. He'd only been nice, even tried to help her. And what had she done in return? Spat in his face. She hoped he didn't hate her too much already.

Penny sighed. "I'll be nice to him," she voiced softly. "The next time I see him. I guess he's not all that bad."

She couldn't remember his name though. It was a 'P' name. Penter? No. Pento? Wasn't that the name of a been? Penly? Penver? It was "Pen-" -something. Definitely a "Pen-" name. Pen...Pen..."That's it," she said with enthusiasm."Pen Pen..."

"Yes?" said a voice that Penny felt was too close for comfort.

Shefreaked.Penny jumped from the bed-and struck a low ceiling. For a few seconds things only spun around her. When she figured she was on the floor she felt hands grabing her.

"No! Let go!" she screamed. Penny immediately began to kick and flail as hard and fast as she could. She may have had short legs and weak arms, but...Well she hoped that whoever was groping her didn't know that.

"Hold on! Wai-UMPH!" And whoever he was, he didn't get a chance to finish speaking. Andno children were going to be in _his_ near future. Penny heard the solid thump on the floor and knew the fight was over.

She firmly planted her foot on his face and said, "See what you get for messing with me?" He didn't answer. No surprise there. She grinded her foot into his face and said, "Don't mess with Penny."

Then, suddenly, a light blinded Penny. A small door had opened, allowing in a torent of fluorescence. A silouette in the door asked, "_What_ is going on here?" It was that woman. Pen Pen's mama.Misato, she was called. She was on her knees wearing a frilly nightgown andpeering into the small chamber that she and her assailant her in. Then Misato gasped. "Pen Pen!"

Penny looked down. There he was. The male penguin was underneath Penny's foot, struggling for air. She took her foot from his face faster than she could say 'Whipped' and knelt beside him.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I really am." She really was."Please be okay." He looked okay. Though his face was roughed up and his legs were as tangled as a pretzel, he looked almost as good as half asnormal. "Say something!" He had to be okay.

Then he spoke, if but onlyin a chocked groan. Penny had to lean closer in order to hear him."If this is what you do to the people that try to help you,then I don't want to be the guy thattries to hurt _you_." Then he decided that that was enough talking for one day, and let the darkness embrace him.

* * *

That was quick, i know. But there will be many more. Read, Review, and Enjoy. 


	4. Chapter 4

Well, here we go again. I know it's been a while, but I plane to really get this story going now. Recap: Another warm water penguin has showed up to live in the Katsuragi residence. Then Pen pen got attacked by a suprised Penny. I hope he forgives her.

* * *

"Oh, come on! I said I was sorry!"

"Go away."

"I thought you were gonna kill me!"

Pen pen still refused to come out of his freezer. Penny had been trying to coax him out, but to no avail. She couldn't figure out why. Well...She could think of a few reasons why. She had delt him a good blow in, probably, his soul area, but it was an accident. Living arounds cats too long had gotten her very paranoid. Pen pen's injuries were just the product of her trained and finely tuned reflexes. And, of course, she had told him all of this. Many times, in fact. Through the metal of his closed freezer door because he was hell bent on staying away from her.

"Just go back to where you came from," he said now from inside his freezer.

"Oh, c'mon!" Penny replied. "I'm so boared! I can't be left alone! I'd go nuts."

"Then it seems you're way too pampered. Or you used to be. Welcome to the real world, where there is no such thing as a manicure." Now he was just being sarcastic.

"Not that!" she said. But she guessed it was partly true. He mama realy did use to do a lot for her. "That crazy lady with the purple hair tried to put a sweater on me last night!"

Her reply was a genuine, but small, laugh from the hidden penguin. "She...She tried that on you?"

"You're damn straight she did! I had to hide behind the couch until she gave up on me!"

Another laugh came from inside the freezer. This one not of amusement but of something else. "That's the same thing I did..."

"Wait," she said. "You mean, she's tried this on you?"

A rustling came from inside the freezer and, to Penny's surprise, the door opened up a crack, but still not enough for her to see the male penguin within. "She's _gotten _that thing on me before!" he boasted. "It's so itchy! When I got it off she tried to put the leash on me. She's got a lot of toys like that."

"What?" Penny asked the door. "You mean...there's more!?"

"Oh yeah," Pen pen said, opening the door a little more. "There's the leash, the sweater, the laser pointer-" Penny shivered when he mentioned the laser pointer, for she remember when her own mama had used the cat laser on her "-and you'd better start taking showers by yourself soon..." he trailed off.

"What?" she asked. "Why? I'm clean. I don't exactly roll around in the mud, y'know," Penny asked indignatly.

"I'm not saying you do," said the other Pen, now poking his head out of the freezer. "But if she sees that you take your own, she won't..." Something in the kitchen caught his eye. "Uh-oh." He said.

"What is it?" Penny said, following his line of sight. There she saw the kind of aluminum water bucket commonly used to wash dogs and other medium sized animals. "The basin?" she asked. "What about it?"

"It's started..." Pen pen answered grimly.

"What?" she said, begenning to worry. "What's started?"

"She doesn't have any soaps because I poared them all out. So you've got a little time. That must be why she left. To get what else she needs...for..." He was now looking deep into her eyes in a very serious way. "The Bath."

"_'The Bath_'?" she asked. "It's just a bath? I think I can handle a single-"

She was cut off when Pen pen said, "Shut up." There was a little fear in his voice, but more in his eyes. He jabbed one of his fingers her way and said, "You may think you can take it, but you can't. Just shut up." He didn't seem to be insulting her. Only trying to show his point. Still, Panny raised an eyebrow.

"You won't be able to take it," he said now, almost worriedly. "She's had other pets, you know."

"So?" Penny said. "All humans have had a few..." The way Pen pen slowly shook his head gave Penny a chill.

"You don't see any other pets around here, do you?" he asked. Before Penny could think of an answer, he continued. "If the clothes and games don't get them. The Bath does." He made a '_Tsk, tsk_'sound and said, "You'd better bathe up."

Penny began to smirk until she saw that the other penguin's face was still grim. "Okay," she said. "You're trying to scare me. And I guess I deserve it for kicking you." Pen pen slowly shook his head again.

"You don't believe me, do you?" he asked. "Fine. Come with me."

Pen pen took his first step out of his freezer and padded off toward Misato's room. His steps were on the tender side, no doubt from his injury, but he walked with confidence. On their way, Asuka stepped out of the bathroom, steam billowing out behind her. She was drying her hair while singing softly to herself. Pen pen backed up to the wall and Penny followed his lead. The girl walked right passed them without seeming to have noticed. As the red went by, the two penguins could hear a part of the song she was singing; "...muss man graben, wenn man klares wasser will, Rosenrot, oh, rosenrot. Tiefer wasser.."

When she was out of sight, Penny said, "Okay. I know I'm not an expert at Humish, but I know _that _wasn't it."

"Oh. Red's from somewhere else," He said matter-of-factly.

"Where?" asked the other penguin as Pen pen once more made his way toward his mama's room.

"Hell if I know," he answered. Penny observed him as he put his scrawny fingers between the door and its frame. She would remember that. "You should hear when they get into arguments. She says a bunch of that giberish. Really loud too. I can hardly sleep with all the yelling going on. But that one boy's pretty quiet. I think he's retarded or something." When the door was open, he looked back at her and said, "C'mon."

Penny followed him as he went in, not knowing of anywhere else she could possibly go. Inside the dimly lit room, the penguins stopped in front of a dresser. Pen pen grasped the lowest handle, but before oppening it, he took a breath and said, "You may not be ready for what you're about to see."

"Dude," she said. "Stop with the theatrics and get on with it. First your creepy voice, then the dramatic pauses. Just do it!"

"Liked my creepy voice, did you Clarice?" Pen pen said, imitating the T.V. cannible once again. When he saw that he wasn't impressing her he pulled open the dresser drawer and took a step back. Penny advanced and looked in. What she saw made her gasp.

Inside were picture frames, each holding the picture of an animal that looked thoroughly disspleased, disgruntled, or downright _miserable_. This drawer had to be at least a foot deep and three wide. And she couldn't see the back of it. But what she could see were the endless pictures. Cats, dogs, a ferret, fish, birds, a turtle, something that had chosen to curl itself up into it's own armor plating as if the end of the world were waiting for it outside. Hermit crabs that were being true hermits in their shells. I small lizard that was missing it's tail. On every frame was the animal's name. She could read some of them; Steavie, Remy, Jasmine, Fluffy, Sandy, Babe, Brigdet, Caspar, Hellboy...and this was just the first layer.

"_What_...?" she couldn't saw any more than that. In front of her was what looked like some kind of freaky shrine.

Pen pen knew what was on her mind. "These are the pictures. Of all her last pets. Each-" to show his point, he picked up a picture of a grey cat being held close to Misato's face that looked like it wanted to kill her "-and every one of these pictures was there at one point." He pointed to the small table next to the bed. On it was a lamp, a bottle of hand lotion, and a picture of Pen pen being hugged tightly by the purple haired woman, not looking too pleased himself. Penny assumed he meant the picture.

He tossed the picture back into the drawer and kicked it shut. Then looked at Penny's scared face. If it weren't for the feathers, she would have been as white as salt. She was shaking at a tempurate most warm water penguins would sweat at.

"You think you can survive The Bath," he said in his best Hannible imitation. "But you can't. None of the others could."

They stared at each other for a long time. Pen pen relised that he had truly scared her and thought, _Good. Let her be scared. Maybe she'll figure it out. _But then he felt something else. He didn't want this penguin to suffer the same fate as Misato's other pets. Somewhere deep inside him, he had feelings for her. The weren't true-love feelings. But she was his only chance at love, even if he wasn't ready to admit it to himself yet. And maybe he was her only chance as well. The complete population of warm water penguins were standing in the same room, there in Tokyo-3. With more feeling than he intended, he spoke.

"Don't let this happen to you."

Penny swallowed for the first time after long. She looked down at the drawer, and then back at the penguin in front of her. She said in a voice that made her seem so small, "Don't let this happen to me."

Pen pen smiled, glad. "Okay." He said with spirit. "Let me show you how bathing's done!"

Whew! I know it's been a while, but I finally got this next chapter up. So, it looks like these two are starting to get along. Most of this came from nowhere in about an hour. I also chose to input some bits of my life into it;

1) The song Asuka was singing was Rosenrot, from a german band, and my favorite, Rammstein. I've always wondered if Asuka had ever heard of them, or even new and liked them.

2) The names of Misato's previous pets are the names of some of mine. But don't worry. There in great health and won't be seeing any Misato's any time soon.

I hoped you enjoyed. R&R.

Next chapter: Penny takes a bath.

(P.S. I'll try to have the next chapter up sooner than I did this one.)


	5. Chapter 5

Another chapter, another thermonuclear blast.

"First," said Pen pen. "Turn on the hot water."

They didn't have much time until Misato returned from her shopping. As with The Bath, there cam a very large assortment of soaps, paracite killers, and sometimes bubble soaps. For Misato, finding all of these things could take hours. They should haveat least one left.

The two penguins were in the bathroom next to the tub. The air was still humid and hot from Asukas recent bath, a wet towel still on the floor, to soak up the loose drops of water when she had gotten out. Though he wasn't taking bath, Pen pen had a fresh towel over his shoulder, as did Penny.

She did as instructed. "First, turn on the hot water," she repeated to herself outloud what Pen pen had told her. "Then, turn on the cool water. Adjust the two until you find a comfotable temperature."

Pen pen smiled. She had a good memery, but it was his words she was saying. He felt like a teacher. "Very good, fledgling," he said to her. "Use of the shower head is optional. They get you cleaner but still water baths are much more fun!"

Penny smiled. She was doing it right. When the water had reached the middle of the tub's height she said, "When the water has reached a comfortable height, turn off both faucets simoultaneously. They may not stop at the same time. This is normal and to be expected." While reaching for the faucets, she turned to Pen pen and said, "Wow, Pen pen. You talk like a boring lecture. What, have you done this before?"

"No," he said. "I've just always wanted to. Oh, and call me sensei."

"Don't push it," she replied. "Now what?"

Pen pen wrapped his towel around his waist, and said, "Just get in. Don't jump or you'll splash too much over the side." He looked at her expectantly. "Okay. A _little _jump won't hurt."

After a few minutes of looking, Penny exclaimed, "What the hell, guy!? Turn around or leave the room or something!"

"...What?" Pen pen said.

"Dude," she said down to him. "I am not gonna let you watch me take a bath."

"Why?" he said.

Penny looked at the other penguin like she was about to slap him. "What are you? A pervert? Get out! I'm not going to let you watch me get naked!"

Pen pen was left perplexed. "This is confusing on so many levels...," he said. Here she was, Penny, a female penguin standing in front of him. She had asked him to help her bathe but now wanted him to leave. "I don't get it!" he said. "You're already naked! We both are! I ju- What the-?" He was waving his hands around like crazy.

Penny seemed to think this over for a moment. Then she said, "Well, I'm not completely naked! I still have this on." She gestured toward her collar. Pen pen looked at it and thought of her without it. She was right. She _did _seem naked. He thought he felt his nose begin to bleed a little.

"You're right!" he said, turning around while holding hise nose. He hoped she hadn't noticed. "I promised I'll keep my back turned." He took a sweep of his side of the bathroom in a search for toilet paper.

Penny was silent for a moment behind him. Then she said, "You promise?"

"Sure thing, fledgling," he said, trying to bring some of the humor back into the atmosphere. It wasn't working.

"I swear, Pen pen..." He heard a sort of fidgeting sound, then the familiar sound of buckles being opened. Pen pen tried not to think of what was going on behind him. But couldn't help but form a path around his good concience.

His bad one spoke up.

_You know she's not naked_, it said. _It's just the same as the way you've seen her before. Go ahead and take a look! What would she say? 'Agh! Let me hide this 10 of my body!'?_

...He had a good argument. Just a peek wouoldn't hurt. Right? Maybe she was already turned around, stepping into the water. She would never know.

_Don't do it_, said his good concience. It surprised Pen pen a little. There was a miniature version of himself, but with wings, floating in front of him. He had a tunic and halo too. _She would think you hentai for the rest of your life. She would never trust you again. You don't want that, do you my child?_

_Don't listen to this sissy_, said his red horned bad concience. _Look ate him, dress and all. Sissy and all._

_It's a tunic_, said the good side. _I get to wear one because I'm good._

_You mean boring_, said the bad. _Unlike us. Me and old Pen here have all the fun, right big guy?_

'Well...Uh...' He couldn't come up with a responce. The appearence of two miniature floating versions of himself had told him something. He needed to get out more. He tried to keep up as they began arguing.

_Look_, said the good. _Why do you need to go pushing the poor child toward evil?_

_Why do you need to stop up all the guys fun? Let him enjoy himself once in a while!_

_Enjoyment and sin are very different things!_

_Not if they don't know it! If she doesn't see it, she won't know!_

_But it is so indecent! _

_Is that the best you can come up with? _said the bad side. _'Indecent! Indecent!' Ha! _He turned his back to the good side. _No wonder you didn't get any girls at concience school._

The good side looked like he had been slapped. He cam closer to the bad and said, _You..bastard..._

He grabbed ther bad concience's shoulder, spun him around, and punched him so hard that even Pen pen felt it.

The two entities fell to the floor in a feathery brawl of good and evil. Never before had Pen pen seen such a violent act.

_I'll rip your freaking horns off!!_

_I'll send you back to heaven in a wheel chair!_

While the two of them were occupied, Pen pen began to turn his head. But before he turned all the way around, heard something elswhere in the house. The sound of paper bags rustling. Of keys being put to a lock. He ran for the door of the bathroom, where he could hear it better, his perverted thoughts forgotten. His fears were confirmed. She was home!

* * *

Misato entered her apartment with her arms full. It had taken a while, but all together, she had everything she needed for the perfect pet bath. She loved everything about bathing her babies. From the smell of their wet skin, to the sound of dripping water. When Pen pen had taught himself how to bathe, she was crushed. Every time she heard the shower start up, she almost began to cry. But now she had a new pet!

"I've got something for you!" she called out to the apartment, meaning it to go to Penny.

Misato sat her bags down on the table and headed for the living room. There she found Pen pen on the couch, watching TV.

"Where's you're new friend?" she asked him. "Still hiding?" Misato noticed something about Pen pen's eyes. He was looking _toward _the TV, but he didn't seem to be watching it.

The thought slipped her mind has she once again began her hunt for the other penguin. she crouched down and looked behind the couch.

* * *

_Oh, man!_ Pen pen thought. His mama's sudden araival had thrown his plans completly off. He had wanted to tell Penny ever step there was to proper bathing that he knew. And he knew a lot. Bathing was very inpmortant to him. He wanted to make sure he got every knook and cranny, every loose feather, every cuticle and toenail. He wanted to make sure that there was nothing for his mama to have an excuse to clean for her. All it would take is one chipped nail, and The Bath would start.

But he had not gotten a chance with Penny. There was so much to tell her. So much she didnt know! Loofa on a stick! He hoped she could figure out how to use it in order to wash her back.

Pen pen kept his eyes on the TV, but kept his focuse on his mama. If she caught him looking at her, she might know something was up. If she got the idea that Penny was mearly imitating Pen pen's actions in the bathing arts, she might figure that the penguin didn't know what she was doing and go for The Bath. He hoped she could fair well enough without him.

* * *

Asuka entered the living room to find Misato groping around behind the couch.

"You have something for me?" she asked.

"No, not you." said Misato, annoyed. "I meant for Penny. I'm going to give her a bath!" she said with spirit.

"Oh," said Asuka. "I saw them being all _seltsam _in the hallway earlier." She took a seat next to Pen pen and said, I think you're too late."

"What!?" said Misato, jumping to her feet. "To late for what?"

Asuka took the remote from Pen pen, who relented it without argument, and said, "Giving her a bath. I heard the water runnining a minute ago. She may have already gotten one."

Misato gasped and ran to the bathroom. Pen pen quickly followed her without her knowledge. When Misato reached the bathroom door, she threw it open without hesitation.

Pen pen looked around his mama's legs and saw Penny standing just inside the door. She had a towel wrapped around her body, under her wings. She had on a surprised face. No doubt from the crazy looking lady standing in front of her.

Her feathers were shining happily. As was her beak and nails. And the smell of shampoo was in the air. Alltogether, she seemed thoroughly scrubbed and cleaned. Pen pen was about to ask her how she did it but didn't get a chance.

"No!" Misato voiced loudly.

Penny smiled. And Pen pen smiled back. Now everything would be alright. Their troubles forgotten for now, the two friends strode back to the living room, and for the first time, Penny made herself at home.

* * *

Another chapter up! I have the next one done, but I'm gonna wit a little before putting up so that you can absorbe this one. 


	6. Chapter 6

"Why didn't you tell me she knew how to bathe!" came the voice from the kitchen. After she had discovered that her new pet could properly wash herself, Misato had placed a call to Ritsuko. Now she was yelling into the receiver as if an angel had attacked and no one had bothered to tell her.

"I am not yelling! Youhaven'therdmeyellyet!" she screamed into the phone.

"She should really take a pill," Penny commented. The documentary on penguins that was on the tube hadn't held their interest, so the two warm water penguins had decided to entertain themselves with the enlightening phone conversation going on in the kitchen.

"Nah," Pen Pen said. "Beers work much better. After she downs a few she mellows out pretty fast. Say, uh...Why don't you go over there and hand her one?" He nudged her with his elbow.

"Are you crazy!?" she said. "She'd probably kill me!"

"Nah, she won't kill you. In some twisted way, she really loves you. You could kill her a million times and she wouldn't so much as slap your wrists. Anyway, she'll probably be going for one any minute now- Oh! There she goes!" As he said this, Misato, as sure as Old Faithful, grabbed her first beer from the fridge and downed it.

"It's almost sad," Pen pen said.

"Almost," said Penny. They both nodded in agreement.

"Wow!" said Asuka, rummaging through Misato's groceries. "Not all of this is pet shampoo. You got some of the good stuff."

Since the screaming had stopped, the two penguins had turned their attention back to the TV, laughing at the migration of the emperor penguins.

Asuka pulled a rubber ducky out of a bag filled with toys and gave it a squeeze. Penny noticed Pen pen's jump at the sound and connected the dots.

"You've had The Bath before...haven't you?" she asked him.

Pen pen stared at the TV blankly for a long time before saying anything. Then; "Once upon a time."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Penny asked. This seemed a very important piece of information. He'd said that nobody had ever survived The Bath. Yet here he was, saying that he had.

"I..." After a minut he seemed to compose himself. Then continued, "I don't like to talk about it." He looked toward her and said, "Yeah, I know. I said that nobody could survive it. But in a sense I didn't completely survive it. I still can't stand the sound of one of those things," he said, meaning the rubber ducky.

Penny couldn't think of anything to say to him. She wanted to hug him for being the little soldier he was, but that would have just seemed weird. Nothing came to her mind to say to him either. Luckily, a new bout of yelling came from the kitchen. Except this time they were from Asuka.

"What?!" she screamed at Misato. "No way!! I'm not gonna let you give me a bath!!!" This made the two penguins, in their own penguiny way, laugh and laugh.

* * *

I know Misato and Asuka have bathed together before, but that last part was the 'being scrubbed with a brush in an aluminum tub' kind of bath. Hmm... What a nice image that congers up.

This one was a little shorter than the others. But at least I got it done. I hoped you enjoyed. More to come soon. R&R


	7. Chapter 7

Next chapter!

* * *

"No! Pick it up and push it!" 

"I'm trying!"

"Try harder! You just don't want me to move in too!"

"Yes I do!"

"Oh, so you _want _to sleep next to me!"

"No! I didn't mean it that way!"

"So how did you mean it?"

"Just shut up and push!"

When the apartment was empty of all of it's human inhabitants, Penny had revealed to Pen pen that she also had her own bed. Pen pen asked why she hadn't just let Misato or one of the others to do it for her and she just said that they could never do it the way she wanted. 'They'll get their human stink on it,' she said. Now the two of them were awkwardly forcing the penguin-sized bed into the freezer. Picture two people moving a bed into a door that's a little too small. Now, convert it to penguin. There you go.

"It's not like the two of us could get it in here any better!" Pen pen continued. The door of his freezer seemed a little to small to accommodate Penny's bed.

"If I let one of those humans do it, they'll get their stink all over it -turn it sideways!!!" At once, the two warm water penguins spun the bed 90 degrees and forced it inside. Once there, it was set neatly beside Pen pen's own bed.

Pen pen saw the contrast between the two immediately. His bed was a dull brown, whereas Penny's was a luscious pink. His had no bounce to it, but hers had plenty. His was flat and hers was fluffy. It made him feel poor.

"Where'd you get this thing, anyway?" he asked her as he tried to negotiate his way back out of the freezer. "It looks expensive." As he passed her, Penny had flopped down on her own bed.

"I dunno," she answered, her eyes closed. "Buy what I do know is that my mama doesn't bother getting cheap stuff for me. Only the best."

Pen pen's face got hot. He said, "Hey, you'd better remember that this is _my _freezer. I could kick you out in a second."

Penny sat up and looked at him sternly. "You wouldn't," she said. Pen pen was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed looking rather serious.

"I could," he said. "And my mom wouldn't do anything about it. I'll bet she'd dismiss it as some dominating male thing." This made Penny laugh. "What?!" he said.

"You? Dominate male?! You couldn't be a dominate male even if you _were _a male!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well..." she teased, "You recovered from that kick _awfully _fast. It makes me wonder..."

Pen pen's face got hot again. "I was limping a little," he said.

"Sure. In the minutes that you knew I was watching."

"Look," Pen pen said. "You kicked me. I got hurt. I'm okay. Can't we just drop if now?"

"Alright", Penny put her hands up defensively. "Alright! I'm sorry." She turned around and made her way back to the living room. "Hurry up!" she called back to him. "We're missing that penguin documentary."

Pen pen sped up his padding to catch up to her. Penny was moving like she was trying to loose him. He sped up. But when Pen pen was almost next to her, she abruptly stopped and spun around. Pen pen didn't have any time to react. He saw in slow motion as her foot came straight up to the intersection of his legs.

Now, if he'd had any idea that she was going to do this, he probably would have backed up. Or maybe, on a good day, caught her foot as it came. But this isn't the case. Pen pen did _not _see this comeing. So he did what any surprised Pen Pen would have down;

Pen pen made a high pitched squeak of a scream and cupped himself with his hands. He knew it may not help him too much but at least his hands would take the blunt of the kick. He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.

But the kick didn't come. Pen pen opened his eyes and looked up. He saw Penny standing there with the usual smirk on her face. He straightened up and shouted, "What was that?! What do you want from me!"

"Oh, nothing," she answered. "Just confirming that you are, _in fact_, a guy."

Pen pen chose not to say what we normally would have. _What the hell!? _He didn't know why. So he just said, "Satisfied?"

Her answer was, "Very." Pen pen didn't know what to make of that answer. He was about to ask what it meant when she said, "Now c'mon! We're missing the 'Stupid Wild Penguin' show!"

He shook his head slowly as Penny walked away. She sure was something he had never dealt with. Pen pen liked her. She was...alive. Spicy. New. _I_, he thought to himself, _could use New_.

"Pen!" came the female penguin's voice. "Where the hell do you keep the remote!?"

Pen pen smirked. _Payback_, he thought.

* * *

Yet another beautiful chapter up. What ever you _thought_ he was gonna do I don't know. But my way, he was gonna torture her with not letting on about where the remote is. Expect another soon. 


End file.
